Another Public Service Announcement
by Psychos-Anonymous
Summary: After a long wait, P.A. returns with another important message that can change your life! It is another public service announcement detailing another vanishing species. Click...and learn.


**THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! PLEASE TURN ON YOUR TURN SIGNAL AND CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOT BEFORE PROCEEDING! FAILURE TO DO SO CAN RESULT IN SEVERE TRAUMA TO THE KNEE CAPS! PLEASE KEEP YOUR ARMS, LEGS, AND BICUITS INSIDE THE INSANITY AT ALL TIMES AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT! WE PROMISE...KIND OF!**

The lights brighten on a stereotypical doctor's study as P.A. enters the room, frowning tersely as she slaps a file on the table and rounds on the camera.

"Good evening, friends. I come before you once more to make another dire public service announcement. This one must be brought to attention quickly before all hope is lost!

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this news is extremely important to our survival!" She turns and walks around the table, the camera following and revealing a projector. "Statistics have shown that there has been a steady decline of _Loudus Mouthus_ in the world! Commonly known as Yusukes in conversation, these creatures have been slowly dwindling from existence. LIGHTS!"

The lights fade and the projector turns on, showing a picture of a young teen with slicked-back hair. "Here is one of these creatures. As you can see, they exude a brash air with their fanged smirks and beady little eyes... Such cold eyes... like a dolls eyes...LIKE HE'S GONNA RIP OUT YOUR THROAT!"

"Ahem..."

"Oopsie...Sorry, Kurama." P.A. grins slightly and coughs sheepishly, resuming, "How are these beautiful animals disappearing you ask? Simple. They are being transported against their will to habitats not suitable for their lifestyle! Do you think a Yusuke is smart enough to realize jumping in front of cars is a no-no?" The slide changes to Yusuke leaping in front of a car, the child badly edited out to be replaced by an antelope. "This one didn't. He was overwhelmed by instinct and met his doom...

"Now, my associate and I have prepared a short educational film to further educate you. ROLLING!"

"You don't need to shout. I'm right here."

"Just roll the film, fox boy." P.A. grumbles, walking off camera as the movie begins to play. She narrates off camera. "Yusukes are violent by nature, often attacking without provocation." The film shows Yusuke destroying many, many demons. "They use their hands to take down threats, often in flailing, jerking movements that you could say resemble martial arts. Sometimes, however, a Yusuke will fire a large blast of lethal light we have aptly named _Sparkly Blast of Doom._" The movie shows Yusuke firing said light.

"It's called a _Spirit Gun_."

"_Fine_, If you wanna get _technical_. Pfft." The scene changes. "Here we see the Yusuke fighting with its natural predator, _Angrius Girlus_, known as Keiko in some research circles."

"Only in some?"

"Yeah, The other circles' names would have to be censored." On screen, P.A. is peeking out of the bushes as Yusuke and Keiko argue, though there is no sound. Suddenly, Yusuke gets slapped and thrown to the ground, the girl storming off. "Sadly, Yusukes are no match for the near-lethal hits of _Angrius Girlus_..."

The scene changes once more, showing P.A. rifling around an apartment. "We entered the territory of a Yusuke to see what we could discover. We discovered bottles." The camera sweeps over mountains of alcohol bottles. "Lots and lots of bottles. We also discovered an unconscious woman. She was only half dressed and delirious, hinting that perhaps she was some sort of...drugged sex slave thing."

"Does Yusuke know you're saying these things about his moth-"

"OH LOOK! This is where the Yusuke discovered us in his den!" On the screen, Yusuke enters the apartment and stares for a few moments before launching himself at the camera. Everything goes to static. "My valiant cameraman sacrificed himself to the angered beast so that I could escape!"

"You _tripped_ me."

"And I'll never forget it, Kurama." The movie disappears and the lights brighten once more, P.A. walking out into view again with a smile. "You're probably asking yourselves 'But P.A., what _ever_ do you plan on doing to save these poor, pathetic creatures?' That's simple, my friends. I plan on orchestrating a massive Yusuke drive, herding them back to their natural habitat!" A slide of the Demon World appears. "Once there, we will post rangers to make sure nobody removes these creatures again!"

A flashing number appears on the screen and P.A. chirps, "Please call 1-800-YUSUKE and make a donation to the cause. That's 1-800-YUSUKE. We accept credit cards, checks, cash, pastries, and major organs. Also, if you call in the next ten minutes, you'll get this free decorative SAVE THE YUSUKES tea-cozy." She displays it with a smile.

"Thank you for your time."

&&&

P.A. grins and turns away from the hospital room television, looking down at the bed-ridden boy. "Soooo?"

"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or insulted." Yusuke mumbles with a soft sigh.

"Flattered. After Hiei nearly annihilated you for our last PSA, I thought the least I could do was pay for your hospital bills with another." She chirped, sitting on his bed and reaching for his hospital pudding only to have her hand slapped away.

"Quite a noble reason." Kurama dryly from his seat near the window.

"IT IS!" The girl insisted, "Do you have any idea how many donations we're getting? I'm up to my ears in strudel."

"Ah."

"No thanks to you, fox boy." She continued vehemently, reaching for the pudding once more in vain. "Why couldn't you have just played along?"

"Because I don't want to have a part of the repercussions this will cause." The redhead stated with a grin.

"Pfft... Repercussions. Like what?"

"P.A., I'LL MURDER YOU!"

"That must be Keiko... She was supposed to visit me today... Must have caught the PSA on the waiting room television." Yusuke breathed quietly, turning to look at the frozen girl on his bed. Kurama merely looked satisfied.

The enraged girl appeared in the doorway, snarling as she caught sight of her prey. "There you are!"

"You'll NEVA catch MEH!" The psychotic teen yelled, turning and leaping out the hospital window.

Stunned silence filled the room for a few minutes before...

"Did she know we were on the tenth floor?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

P.A.: Well that's that. I hadn't written a crack story in a long while so this was fun. Yume-chan is insisting I write a Save the P.A.'s too but I'll think about it. I have a bunch of stuff to finish. Thanks for reading and SAVE THE YUSUKES!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.


End file.
